[datagrid] Refactor: make all selectors accept the same argument

[romgrk]

Currently, grid selectors either accept the apiRef, or the apiRef.current.state, so calling them directly can look like this:

const a = gridColumnsStateSelector(apiRef.current.state)
const b = gridColumnFieldsSelector(apiRef)

It is inconsistent. This also mean we can't evolve a selector from unmemoized to memoized:

// From this form:
const gridXxxxSelector = (state: GridState) => state.xxxx
// To this form:
const gridXxxxSelector = createSelectorMemoized(yyyySelector, (y) => y.x)

Because it would be a breaking change. We should stick to a single way to pass the state, and it should be apiRef for simplicity & DX. We could preserve passing apiRef.current.state for compatibility, but move our codebase & the docs to the new style. This could also be done as a breaking change if we want to cleanup the code, but as we're already releasing a lot of breaking changes I'm not sure it would be a good time right now.

Somewhat related, right now the selectors show a warning message if the apiRef.current.state is passed but the selector is memoized, because selectors use the apiRef.current.instanceId as a cache key. We should not display warning messages, either accept the arguments or reject them. Or also just add the instanceId on the state instead of skipping memoization & warning the user :|

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