whiteFourth.json

{"text":"10 Incredible Facts About the Anus."},
{"text":"A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world."},
{"text":"A Ugandan warlord."},
{"text":"A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans."},
{"text":"A dance move that's just sex."},
{"text":"A fart."},
{"text":"A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes."},
{"text":"A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry."},
{"text":"A hopeless amount of spiders."},
{"text":"A horse with no legs."},
{"text":"A kiss on the lips."},
{"text":"A manhole."},
{"text":"A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness."},
{"text":"A sex goblin with a carnival penis."},
{"text":"A shiny rock that proves I love you."},
{"text":"Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers."},
{"text":"Africa."},
{"text":"All the single ladies."},
{"text":"Almost giving money to a homeless person."},
{"text":"Ambiguous sarcasm."},
{"text":"An interracial handshake."},
{"text":"Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night."},
{"text":"Ass to mouth."},
{"text":"Blackula."},
{"text":"Bouncing up and down."},
{"text":"Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality."},
{"text":"Child Protective Services."},
{"text":"Crazy opium eyes."},
{"text":"Dem titties."},
{"text":"Depression."},
{"text":"Doo-doo."},
{"text":"Drinking responsibly."},
{"text":"Exploding pigeons."},
{"text":"Falling into the toilet."},
{"text":"Finally finishing off the Indians."},
{"text":"Fucking a corpse back to life."},
{"text":"Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis."},
{"text":"How awesome I am."},
{"text":"Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other."},
{"text":"Interspecies marriage."},
{"text":"Jizz."},
{"text":"Khakis."},
{"text":"Lots and lots of abortions."},
{"text":"Moderate-to-severe joint pain."},
{"text":"My dad's dumb fucking face."},
{"text":"My sex dungeon."},
{"text":"My worthless son."},
{"text":"Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits."},
{"text":"No clothes on, penis in vagina."},
{"text":"Party Mexicans."},
{"text":"Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa."},
{"text":"Sharks with legs."},
{"text":"Smoking crack, for instance."},
{"text":"Snorting coke off a clown's boner."},
{"text":"Some sort of Asian."},
{"text":"Sports."},
{"text":"Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun."},
{"text":"Sugar madness."},
{"text":"The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East."},
{"text":"The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter."},
{"text":"The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China."},
{"text":"The safe word."},
{"text":"The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction."},
{"text":"The size of my penis."},
{"text":"The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real."},
{"text":"Three consecutive seconds of happiness."},
{"text":"Unquestioning obedience."},
{"text":"What Jesus would do."},
{"text":"Whatever a McRib® is made of."},
{"text":"Whispering all sexy."}